


unexpectedly efficient

by SafelyCapricious



Series: things you find in a graveyard [6]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, Gen, The Power of Youth, Uchiha Sasuke Returns to Konoha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 10:51:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20929016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SafelyCapricious/pseuds/SafelyCapricious
Summary: Naruto devises of a trap so tricky and smart that -- no, just kidding. A truly ridiculous trap manages to catch Sasuke and get the team back together!Crack





	unexpectedly efficient

**Author's Note:**

> Title from ??? i don't know man, just words. Everything is just words.
> 
> This is part of my attempt at fictober. I'm not going to lie, day six almost defeated me. This is actually...super duper old. But hell, I'm pretty positive it's never left my computer, so it's new to all of you, and therefore can be posted. <strike>Wish me luck on day seven, I do not know what I'm doing.</strike>
> 
> This is just...crack. Pure and simply (and short) crack. 
> 
> So, enjoy!

Sakura and Kakashi stared in shock at the scene in front of them. Sai just smiled widely, eyes creased shut with the force of feigned happiness. Naruto surveyed the events with his hands on his hips and a face filled with satisfaction. Itachi stayed motionless and glaring. And through it all Sasuke spun -- the enhanced rope around his ankles that held him off the ground was twisting him around and around. And despite the movements that should have been making him sick, his glare was stone and his arms remained stubbornly crossed. 

Sakura opened her mouth, then shut it. After repeating this action several times, it was Kakashi who finally spoke and broke the baffled silence. “His hair makes more sense like this.”

This seemed to break the spell over Sakura, and her mouth clicked shut. She tilted her head, then nodded. “You’re right.” She paused to consider, shifting her weight before glancing up at the older ninja. “Think he stands on his ceiling and gels it like that? I’ve always wondered how he did it.”

All four of the observers -- excluding the motionless Itachi -- leaned to the left in unison and tilted their heads to observe and consider. 

They stayed that way long enough for the hanging Sasuke to make another attempt to escape (his twenty-seventh at this point), trying, yet again, to cut the rope with a kunai. 

“I’m impressed, Dickless.” Naruto’s chest swelled -- It was rare that any of Team Kakashi (read: Sakura and Naruto) bothered to protest the nicknames of their socially inept teammate anymore -- Sai had finally worn them down. “But the Traitor must be extremely stupid, to have fallen for it.” Turning towards Sakura he offered her another squint eyed smile. “You shouldn’t breed with someone so stupid, Hag. Your children wouldn’t have any chance of survival.” 

Sakura scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Breed with? I wouldn’t _date _him, let alone breed with him!”

The sheer force behind the statement caused the spinning Sasuke’s eyes to widen slightly. 

Naruto cackled. “That’s right bastard! Sakura-chan has moved on to better things -- like me!”

Kakashi had already taken a step back from the figure at his side before the cracking knuckles sounded. Naruto, hearing the telltale sound, only managed to open his mouth, eyes wide and panicked, before a slender hand in a black glove sent him crashing into the hanging Sasuke -- and sent the both of them swinging into Itachi. Naruto continued to fly and landed on the missing nin. He laid there, dizzy and bruised, on top of Itachi, as Sasuke went swinging wildly back and forth -- his expression no longer scowling, but instead turning a little green. 

Sai tilted his head before pointing out, needlessly, “you broke Itachi.” And sure enough, the cardboard cutout that they had used to lure Sasuke into the most ridiculous, yet unbelievably effective, trap in existence had a clear snap at the base where Naruto’s weight had broken it over the rock that had been propping it up. 

Kakashi took a step back, Sakura glanced at him, followed the path of his one eyed gaze and did likewise -- Sai didn’t move until the last possible moment -- and naturally Naruto moved into the path of it.

Sakura’s nose wrinkled. “Ew.” 

Kakashi managed to fight down his own reflex -- the noise of anyone throwing up made him want to -- and buried his cloth covered nose in a worn orange paperback. 

It was decided that Naruto would get to cary Sasuke home -- since there wasn’t a river or a lake nearby and no one else wanted to touch the avenger who had managed to vomit on himself as well as Naruto. Sakura had barely been willing to get close enough to him to knock him out with an application of medical chakra. 

**Author's Note:**

> I've never posted anything for Naruto before, and I dunno if my other attempts will ever be finished _or_ posted, so please enjoy this and let me know what you think. 
> 
> As always, you can find me [on tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/capriciouswrites)if you wanna chat! It'll be fun, I promise.
> 
> This is still probably not edited enough, so lemme know if anything is too wonky!
> 
> I have two cats on my lap and am typing this at a truly uncomfortable angle so as not to disturb them, so that's all from me. Thanks for reading!


End file.
